A Letter From Tom
It’s hard to know exactly what to say at a time like this. Emotions can be difficult to properly convey.
So instead of trying to convey emotions, I will simply tell you a story.
Sara and I met eight years ago to this very day. If this were a typical love story, I would tell you about how wonderful we both felt as we gazed into each other’s eyes from across the room and knew immediately that we were destined to be together. This isn’t a typical love story. It is anything but typical, and the truth is that the first time we looked into each other’s eyes was only last year.
As it turns out, looking into someone’s eyes has very little to do with falling in love. From personal experience I can tell you that talking to someone for fourteen hours a day about anything and everything is a much more powerful experience than gazing into their eyes. For almost six years, (Not consecutively, mind you.) Sara and I have talked to each other for almost fourteen hours a day. That is not an exaggeration. You might want to take a moment to let that sink in– Imagine getting along with someone so well that you talked to them for fourteen hours a day for six years and never got bored. Never grew tired of conversation with this person. Even in writing it, that fact amazes me.
But I digress. I’m telling a story that starts with the two of us meeting, and we did not meet by spontaneously talking to one another for fourteen hours a day. (As cool as that would have been.) We’ll come back to this later.
Sara and I met writing fiction on a forum. We didn’t know our respective names until almost a year later, calling each other only by our nicknames on this forum. It seems odd looking back on it, and I’m sure from an outside perspective as well, that it took us that long to get to just sharing our names with one another. How can you cultivate such an intense relationship when you don’t even know the name of the person you’re in the relationship with? The answer is that you’re often a lot more honest while anonymous than you are if you “know” someone. We talked about stuff during that first year that most people don’t get to talking about in five years of friendship.
Through the years our “friendship” blossomed. It was never really a friendship, but more of a mutually beneficial arrangement in which both of us needed each other. Weird as that sounds, I think that’s what all romantic relationships are. Despite the fact that we weren’t officially romantically involved until last year, for all intents and purposes, our relationship has almost always been romantic. I spoke to Sara every day of the year. We were seven-hundred miles apart (At times, we were much farther apart.) and I spoke to Sara more than I spoke to friends who lived five minutes down the street. I had never met her.
I stress the fact that I had never physically met her because it is that which really defines how solid our relationship is. There was never really any effort involved when we conversed and we spoke every day for eight to fourteen hours a day for four years straight, and then another two years after that. I don’t know anyone I’ve ever met whom I can talk to like that. Not even members of my own family.
My point in all this is that although I had never physically met her, I knew her better than anyone BECAUSE I had never physically met her. Our entire relationship was based on conversation. Thoughts. Not looks. Not social standing. Not money. Not anything but mutual interest in anything and everything.
I don’t know anyone who communicates with the same intensity as we do. I don’t know anyone. I’ve looked.
There’s a lot that’s gone on between her and I. Believe me when I tell you that it’s much more than I could write down in a single post. There has been a lot of good, and a fair share of bad, and we struggled like hell in the end to get where we are now. After seven years, in April of 2008 we finally conveyed our feelings for each other to one another. We met, at last, in August of that year in the airport in Sara’s home town. As I got off the plane Sara saw me, approached and said nonchalantly:
“Hi.”
“Hi,” I said. We hugged then, and for a long time. It was like the sealing of a pact. Neither of us was going anywhere.
We aren’t going anywhere.
So why did I tell you this rather short tale? Interesting and all, but oddly uncalled for, right?
Well… I asked Sara to marry me.
(She said yes.)
Hi. My name is Sara, I’m twenty-four years old, my favorite color is orange, and I have an overwhelming desire to preserve my life with photos and words.
40 Comments
wow wow wow wow!!!
Congrats you!!!!
Wish ya all the happiness in the world!
waaa!!! congratulations!!
oh maaaaan, congrats! you guys have come such a long way, just think of all that’s left to go in each other’s physical presence
all the best to you both!
That is such a beautiful story. Congratulations Sara!
congratulations!!!!!
this is so wonderful – all the best to the two of you.
OMG OMG OMG!!!!
That is so, so sweet! &I saw your date. It WOULD BE the 8th!!!!
OOOOOOHHH MYYYYY GOOOOODNESSS!!!!
This is simply WON -DER-FULL!!!Congratulations!!
You guys sound so uch like Stig-Endre and me
Hopefully we will get married one day soon also
<3
Best news ever
Congratulations!!!! Wow~
Wow! That’s wonderful! Congratulations to both of you
that was a really beautiful and inspiring read too.
The date you’ve picked is also the day after my birthday so I will be extra happy (fo you) this year <3
CONGRATS!!!!! i am so happy for you both! this is wonderful! ahhh im so happy for you!
SO happy for you! I love engagements and weddings and I can’t wait to hear more and see pictures!
SQUEEEEEEE with a side of HELLS YAH!
I loved reading this! I’m so excited for the both of you.
oh, this makes me so happy for the two of you! how exciting! congratulations! eeee! haha.
This is absolutely beautiful. What a sweet couple
Also, your wedding ring set is very similar to mine!
p.s. I absolutely adore that expression. xD
You are infinite indeed.
It’s really nice reading Tom’s take on it- I’m not sure I’ve seen his writing before! Congratulations, you two. <3 I can't wait to see that ring on your finger, Sara! Oh Ireland, it'll be an amazing honeymoon. Promise me you'll go riding on the beach like my friends did out there on their own honeymoon. 
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
incredible… congratulations
TEARS IN MY EYES OKAY THERE ARE TEARS IN MY EYES. I am so happy for you both. Love is the most amazing thing a person can experience, not only because you learn so much about another person, but because you learn so much about yourself in turn. That ring looks gorgeous on your finger too and ah, I’m so happy for you!
Awww, congrats. Your ring is so beautiful, and you two are lucky to have each other!
I got chills from reading this. Congrats you two!
so inspiring….Congratulations!!!!!!!
Congratulations ! It’s amazing how love can go through a lot of things and find its way. It’s a great happy beginning (I was going to say “happy ending” but it’ll rather be a beginning) for your untypical love story !
That is wonderful news! Congratulations to both of you!
Wow! That’s awesome! You two are perfect for each other
I’m so happy for you! The story was beautiful and I really loved hearing it from Tom’s POV. Best wishes for a long and happy life together.
Awwww. Wow. How exciting! Be good to each other
Congrats!
Congratulations! How hard are you grinning in the “background” of that first pic?! xD
Eeee! Congratulations Sara!
Your relationship with Tom is an inspiration to everyone who reads you, myself included. I’m so happy for you both ^_^
*Hugs*
xo
Congratulations to both of you.
This made me smile like hell and now my face hurts.
Be happy forever, ok? I truly believe you will.
omgush X3!!
i got all tingly reading this . I gasp when i saw the picture. but couldn’t believe it till i read through the whole post.
congrats sara!!
That gave me goosebumps. I am so so happy for you both.
Congratulations Sara
xxxx
Congratulations you two!
Tom: I understand a bit of the feelings of growing close to someone before seeing them. While I didn’t meet My Love online, I did meet my best friend there. She is the only person I have truly managed to keep a solid friendship with in the last 10+ years of my life… and whenever I get to spend time with her it just fits… as though we never grew up living in different areas at all. I am happy you two were able to find each other.
OMG!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
I’m so, so happy for you both!!
AHHH.
You telling me on Gmail a few minutes ago made my day.
This post has me crying like a baby at work.
You guys have had the most inspiring, love-filled adventure, although not an easy one. I am so happy to see you guys reach this point. I love you both and can barely put into words how this makes me feel.
Congrats!!! Such a sweet new chapter of a fantastic love story!
Congratulations! I am SO happy for you!
WTF?! I am SO happy for both of you. I wish I could say something a little more meaningful, but I think you both know how this makes me feel. I love you both, and CONGRATU-FUCKING-LATIONS!