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2010Asia in Canada Day
So, if you didn’t know this before, my sister and I grew up in Okinawa, Japan. Tom and I are in the process of relearning Japanese. And Will is a China studies major, has lived in China twice now, and is about to embark on a hike through China AND take an internship for the rest of the summer. This makes us the white-people-who-are-Asian mishmash. Oh my goodness, that’s actually a word. (Too bad, I thought I made it up.) So on their second day we took a chance to visit the Asian districts around Toronto and stop for some authentic food as well. (I didn’t take photos of my dish, which was garlic snow peas (a favorite!), because somehow I forgot. Oops.)
It’s strange, and I’m going to talk about something personal for a bit if you don’t mind, but we all felt so much more unwelcome in these communities (and restaurants) than we ever did overseas. And being a foreigner overseas was a big deal; I even had people stop me in the store to stroke my blonde hair! But it was really disconcerting how much like an invader and unwelcome I felt visiting these places the other day. Which is upsetting to me because I lived there until I was ten years old and even though I look foreign, my heart is split. I miss it too. So why can’t I visit the communities and get excited about the markets and stationary and memories from my childhood?
We stopped into a Japanese restaurant and I ordered a drink called, “Okinawan Brown Sugar”. When the young staff looked puzzled and tried to pronounce “Okinawa”, I realized that they had probably never even been to Japan. And in that moment, I was really hurt. These men, my age, were of Japanese decent but had never been there. Yet they are automatically accepted to be “Japanese” and make me feel like I’ve invaded on their culture. And no, I don’t have the eyes, the black hair, or the tiny frame, but I LIVED it. My heart is there. So why should I have any less of a right to be there?
All that said though, Tom and I found an AMAZING little Japanese place about fifteen minutes from our house tucked away in the corner of some buildings and the family was wonderful; delighted to see and serve us. I guess it all depends on the person/people. Thanks for listening, friends. I hope you’re having a great start to the week!
Kim
This post was really touching, and poignant for me, too, because I am Mexican/Native American on my mom’s side, and sort of have a similar but opposite problem as you– I don’t look the part, nor did I grow up in Mexico or anything, but I still get that “invader” feeling when I show my interest in the cultures… ESPECIALLY with the Native American side, because I know how strongly a lot of NA’s feel about white outsiders collecting their artifacts as if they were quaint trinkets, etc.
Also, I love the first commenter’s suggestion about opening up dialog. Such a great idea, considering if both parties simply keep to themselves, only more judgment and assumptions can be bred, rather than working to break down that barrier. Sometimes I notice Chris doing this when we visit Asian grocery stores– there was one in our hometown we frequented that specialized in Thai goods, and he’d always chat with the clerks, asking them what part of SE Asia they were from and telling them about how we’d just gotten back from visiting there. It’s nice to make that connection.
Erin
So, long-time lurker, but as soon as you mentioned Okinawa, I had to comment! I grew up on the air base in Okinawa. I empathize so much with random people coming up and touching your hair, being white-blonde as a child myself.
Did you ever go to Nakagusuku park? REMEMBER THE ROLLER SLIDES?? When I tell people about the amazing parks and epic slides in Okinawa they just don’t understand…
Also, banana spiders.
Heh, sorry, just felt like reminiscing – I think my heart is still right there too.
Sara
O.m.g. DO I EVER. I think by the roller slides you mean the slides that had rolling bars, right? And your butt cheeks would always get pinched? In which yes, YES I DO. I loved all the parks in Okinawa, they had a lot to choose from. My favorite was this Tree Park. It had HUGE fake trees to climb in and out of and then tunnels in “fallen over trees”. And then there was Shiisa park, where instead of a castle to climb in it was a Shiisa. Oh, Japan and their parks.
YES. BANANA SPIDERS. Err, rather, NO. We went somewhere on a school trip once and I remember all too vividly the tour guide telling us what to do in case one landed on our head. I was horrified. Absolutely horrified.
Thanks so much for commenting, it was fabulous to reminisce!
Erin
Oh man, yes! I remember the park with the fake trees. as well. They just don’t make stuff like that over here. In that sense, it was a great place to be a child. *sigh*
Kym
Kat looks as beautiful as ever! Gosh, I miss you guys!
Sara
I know, right? You should see her in the Victorian clothes she wears. Classy lady.
Kym
Send me some pictures. And tell her I miss her! <3<3<3
Sally
I’ve experienced this phenomenon to an extent, too, despite being half-Asian. Some people are just really judgmental. Some people don’t care. Some people are curious & happy to share their culture with others.
If I were you I’d try to make myself a regular there & chat with them about your experiences. Take this opportunity to open THEIR eyes.
Sara
You are so right, it all depends on the people and area. We would become regulars but we just live so far away that it’s a little unrealistic. I would love to leave near the marketplace though. I’d do all my shopping there!
I took your advice today and was open to anything. We went to a Japanese/Korean restaurant and the owner was so nice and talked to us about where we were from and what we did for a living. Thanks so much for this.
Grace
I’m Singaporean and I think you’re awesome! Drop by our country one day will you?!
Sara
I would love to visit Singapore! I would have to be sure I was skilled at night shots because I hear your cityscape at night is as breathtaking as a cityscape can get!
Angela
I can empathize with you on the welcome/unwelcome issue. At the end of the day, these people are trying to make money and your money is no different than the next person’s money. They should probably think about that when they make people feel unwelcome.
But like you said, you should be able to enjoy those things; you should be able to enjoy those things even if they weren’t apart of your past.
This is just another example of how the world is divided and we as a global population still like to stay within our groups for comfort and don’t like to stray from what we know. I really wish that it wasn’t like that; I want things to change.
But you did look like you were having fun and the food looks amazing!
Sara
Oh we were definitely having fun, it wasn’t something we thought about until we were out of the situation and talking about it in the comfort of our home.
And I wouldn’t have brought it up had it not happened several times (each time we go) but it just gets discouraging and disappointing after a while. How many neat friends/opportunity did they/I/we miss because we were too busy judging the other person?
It is very much divided and I hope with all my heart that one day that will change.
Thanks for the comment Angela, it was nice to hear this.
liz
I wouldn’t let it stop you from enjoying excellent food! My dad really loves Korean food and goes to a Korean restaurant every week, so much so that the waitresses start recognizing him. When my mom and I used to go with him we would always be the one non-Korean family, but the waitresses loved my dad because he was enthusiastic about the food.
Sara
Your dad sounds like a fun guy to hang out with!
Oh yeah, we definitely had a good time, and I went nuts at the supermarket. I grabbed everything I needed for miso soup, my sauces, peach drinks etc and I didn’t care that we were getting stares everywhere we went. Sometimes it bothers me but most of the time I can shrug it off.
Alyssa
I think I vaguely remember your mentioning growing up in Okinawa. I don’t remember why, though. Were either of your parents in the military? I went to Okinawa alone at 16 to visit a friend who had just moved there (her mom taught high school with DODDS). If Joseph weren’t leaving the military next month, I’m sure we would petition to go there next. It was a truly life-changing experience, especially as I was so young. I’ve loved Japan since and haven’t again felt as confident as I did while I was there and the months following my return. Joseph spent a year in South Korea before we started dating, and we’re both dying to take a trip around Asia within the next couple years. Okinawa will always hold a dear place in my heart.
Sara
AH! My favorite teacher EVER was with DODDS! It’s what I wanted to do when I grew up! My mom taught English as a second language and my dad was in the service, so that’s why we were there. We liked it so much we stayed, and lived off base as well as on. The people there are so genuine and nice and it will definitely remain special to me always.
As cool as it would be for you and Joseph to be in Okinawa, I’m happy for you that he’s done with his service. Also keeping my fingers crossed about his potential new job. <3<3<3