Pumpkin’s Blog, Stardate Caturday

It has come to my attention recently that the humans lug around these gigantic black machines that click and clank and make a lot of noise. This in and of itself is nothing special. They stare at various other mechanical devices almost all day… I really don’t know how they can stand to live such boring lives, but I digress.

The reason I noticed these black devices they carry around is because I caught one of them with food inside them! I can only assume that they’re onto me and they’ve started rationing for my eventual takeover. No doubt they have been hoarding the food contained inside these devices like they do with all the other food in the house.

I devised a plan to get the food out of the device, but these crafty humans have it locked up inside. They must have known that I would come for it, the fiends. They always seem to be one step ahead. Knowing this, I hired that oaf Morn (Who will do anything for a scrap of food.) to break into the device and retrieve the food for a percentage of what he recovered.

Atlas became wise to Morn’s clumsy attempts and challenged Morn for the caged food. Luckily, Morn could double as Godzilla and easily fought him off.


To my surprise, after a long battle he conceded. This turned out to work in my favour. I figured I would let Atlas struggle to get the device open and then swoop in for the food once he figured it out and was too tired to defend himself!


Not surprisingly he became distracted by a piece of lint across the room and made little progress. I should have foreseen this, as I have been trying to coax Atlas to work with me against the humans since he was captured and he has experienced similar difficulties during his Cat-fu and Purr-yoga training. I will have to train him not to become so easily swayed from my his goals.

Just as I was about to begin breaking the device open myself, the humans awoke. I retreated to the tower and played innocent. They didn’t suspect a thing. I am worried about the humans catching onto my plan, so I will have to be stealthier in the future. I will keep you all updated on my progress.