Tears of Gratitude

I was going to post this yesterday and then post another ten today since it’s the last day of the gratitude project, but I started writing this post and was so choked up at parts that I had to step away from the computer and do other things. (I cleaned out our entire storage room and broke down a bunch of boxes and pulled out our Christmas tree.) Next year when I do this project I will try to focus on smaller, little things that make me smile. But since this is my time doing this project, I figure it’s okay to go all out. I hope you’ll forgive me for sharing so much that it verges on the edge of being cheesy.

Day 14

Tom, Part I, and a few little things that mean the world to me:

He wakes me up with gentle kisses every morning.
We talk so much about everything.
He has been my best friend since I was twelve.
We have never had an argument.
He is confident in who he is, what he wants, and believes. He isn’t bullied into choices and doesn’t put up with nonsense. I appreciate this in him and admire it. I wish I could be more like that.
He believes in me. He encouraged me to leave work (with kids) this spring to focus on photography. And he refuses to let me give in or give up.
He makes me breakfast every Saturday morning.
We’re both introverts. While we love spending time with people and can be quite outgoing about it, we “recharge” with quiet time at home.
He likes video games, is a writer (and better with grammar and spelling), loves going for walks, and is logical and compassionate at the same time.
We leave each other notes (sometimes serious, sometimes silly)

Day 15

Books. And I love that technology allows my sister and me to lend each other books despite over 400 miles separating us.

Day 16

Light. I love how it can completely change a scene. I love how much it influences my photography. I love how much of it spills into our home.

Day 17

I am grateful for my sisters. I miss them so much and think of them often. I am grateful that we email, call, Skype, and poke each other on Facebook. And I am ever so grateful for the letters they send me. I’ve saved every single one.

Five things I couldn’t do without:
Kat and I have an insane amount of “inside” jokes. Often times I am watching/reading/playing something and I either think of a joke we already have, or think of something that she would laugh at. We had a rough time sometimes growing up but we stuck together. And we laugh a lot. We fought over who got to wear the Star Trek shirt, by the way. Obviously she won.
Chrissy taught me what it was like to have someone completely depend on you. She was born when I was twelve, and helping out with feeding, changing diapers, and bombing exams because she was up all night crying, taught me a lot. The experience gave me a leap in maturity that I am so thankful for.
Kimee and I share the love of photography. She recently sent me an email asking me if I would help her set up a personal blog so she could share the photos she’s been taking with me. My mom tells me that she never goes anywhere without the point-and-shoot she got for her birthday, and takes photos of everything. (Including her feet in places.) I left my Digital Rebel XTi there during my last visit in hopes that it would find its way to her when she was ready.
The girls have started playing Zelda. Kat and I feel a great sense of pride about this. It’s like we are passing a torch.
Having three younger sisters.

Day 18

My parents trusted me implicitly growing up. It really helped shape the person I am today, and it wasn’t until high school that I really realized that not every parent is like that. A few things stand out in my mind when I think about it now. For example, when I was nine years old I was allowed to ride my bike twenty minutes to the civic center every morning to be there for 6am swim practice. I never had a curfew (but I like to think I was always home at a reasonable hour), and my friend Riley (who is a boy) was allowed to sleep over. Oh, and then of course there was that one time that I drove four states away with a friend to visit a girl I met online. Before you think my folks are completely irresponsible, I was in my early twenties for that last one, and I’d known her for years. (We met on the same writing forum as Tom and I, and she wrote in the same stories! Her name is Anna. I would share a photo of her and I, but she is in her pajamas and I’m dressed so I’m not sure she’d appreciate that!) I think my parents trusting me gave me faith in myself I might not have had otherwise. I am so grateful for the trust that I have in myself, to always do the best that I can and be the best that I can be. (I hope that makes sense.)

Day 19

Today the internet went out, and it was surreal to realize how connected I usually am. Even for things like looking up ingredients or replacements, or directions or phone numbers to business I want to call. I realized that I am grateful for that connection, but also to be reminded that it is okay, if not necessary, to take breaks sometimes.

Day 20

This one is really personal for me, perhaps too personal for this blog, but it is important to me and I really feel I’d be doing myself a disservice if I left it out. My dad and I were really close when I was growing up, but then my parents had a rough divorce and when I was sixteen or so we had a falling out. Last year we started talking again when I called and asked him to come home for my wedding. He lives in Alaska, but he calls me at least once a week so we can catch up or video chat on the computer. I am so grateful that I let go of my anger, stopped being so stubborn, and gave him a second chance to be there for me.

This photo is one I took last year before the wedding. I did take a photo today as well, but this is the one I wanted you to see first.

Day 21

I am grateful for my body. I love you, body. I’ve always been a runner, but in the last year or two I’ve really started to go out of my way to take care of my body. I’m eating better than I ever have in my life, I’m still running, but I’m doing yoga and other strength training exercises. A month ago I broke a personal record by running a mile in 6:59 seconds. Two days ago, I broke another personal record by running three miles in twenty-one minutes, each mile taking me roughly seven minutes. That’s faster than I’ve ever run my entire life, even when I was thirteen and had no fat on my bones. I love how flexible I am, my strength, and stamina.